Last year for lent I emailed Katie to tell her I was giving up pregnancy. She responded with something along the lines, “is this for real or have you just had enough?” Well, it was true, I went into labor and had Henry on lent last year. Best thing I ever gave up 🙂
While I’m not Catholic, I feel the need to give up things for lent to prove to myself that I can live without certain items. This year however, instead of giving up pregnancy, I’m going to focus on Reinventing ME. You might ask what does this mean, but really I’m not quite sure. I just know the last time I reinvented myself it was to become a mom. Now that I’ve been at this gig for one year I feel even more confident in myself as a mom and person.
Recently, I’ve had an eye opening epiphany that what I think is important, really isn’t. I find that a lot of what I think it important can be too materialistic or vain. Not necessarily who I am, but who I’ve become. Since I’ve survived the first year of motherhood, almost four years as a wife, and twenty six years as myself, it’s time for change. My main New Years resolution was to do more for myself and find inner happiness. I can honestly say that I’m well on my way to doing that, but theres so much more I want to do for myself and my family.
To be honest, a lot of days I don’t feel all that grown up. Sure I have a family, a house and a job, but that doesn’t necessarily make you a grown up. I still spend money like an irresponsible teenager, have terrible eating habits and spend more time social networking than I should. Lately, it’s just become to monotonous. I feel like a lot of who I am and have become is holding my family back from being the family that I truly see us being. I want dinners at the table, a new house, go to church often, family vacations, grow my blog, movie nights, more babies, dinner parties, etc. Sure, I have a lot of that now, but our life is so fast paced that there really isn’t that time to breathe. Or is there? Am I just picking and choosing what’s important? I decided that now is as better time than ever to start fresh. Find what’s truly important and make it work.
Yesterday, I did something that hasn’t been done since my freshman year of college. I paid off our credit cards (not too shocking, it happens monthly), cut up the one that I have memorized and cancel it. All of this for no reason other than I’m a one click shopper. It’s SO easy for me to store my credit cards in my accounts, find something I like and then click order completed. It’s RIDICULOUS! My family members often joke that UPS will never go out of business because of me. My closet is FULL of clothes that I NEVER wear. I also own tons of shoes. Instead of ordering something new everyday (really I have a problem) why not create new outfits out of what I have. Hopefully we’ll see an increase in our bank account and comments will stop being made about me and the UPS man!
While cutting up my credit card is just a very small (actually HUGE) move on my goal of reinventing myself I feel refreshed already. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders just by doing that. I’ve unsubscribed to ALL shopping emails, made us eat dinner at the table as a family last night and spent far less time on my phone after work. I also have been getting up at 5am again, am working on a healthy eating style for our family and am truly contemplating a “make older” (that’s a hole different post)!
I’ve told my husband none of this. My inability to change is something that he has brought up many times in our relationship. He even mentioned it this weekend while we were away. It’s time, really it is. For the record, we have a great relationship, albeit odd at times, but truly wonderful. I know with letting go of stupid things, putting other things first and taking a little time to smell the roses, it will be out of this world.
I don’t anticipate this is a change that will happen overnight, but with spring coming, maybe coming, why not start off on a great note. Take the next step to a new and better you!