Shear Panic


If you’re a mother you can definitely relate to this post.  If you aren’t a mom, but plan on becoming one in the future, you’ll thank me for this post later.

Back when Henry was a wee little boy and started sleeping long stretches at night I remember two things.  One, I would wake up in extreme pain from my breasts being engorged and second, I always felt a sense of happiness.  He finally was making it longer stretches.  After those two feelings, the panic started to set in.  What if he was dead?  He wasn’t restless, so he must be dead. There’s no way that he finally was full enough to sleep through the night.  Countless times I’d run to his room and breathe a huge sigh of relief to see him happily and peacefully sleeping (breathing) the night away.  Sleep deprivation really does a number on your mind.

As my body got used to him sleeping more and I was no longer nursing, the feelings of “he must be dead” quickly went away.  That was until they reappeared a few weeks back.  We’ve been working on getting him to stay up longer for a number of reasons.  Nothing worse than having to rush home, make dinner, bathe your child and put him to bed.  We were getting NO time with him.  It wasn’t until one night we figured out until you mention bottle or bed, he had stopped showing signs of being tired.  He was so busy playing with us that he was too content to realize that maybe his bed was a fun place to be.  Slowly, we started nighttime routine a little later each night.  Now we don’t start it until 7pm, he’s in bed by 7:30pm and awake around 6am.  However, in the last few weeks, he’s decided sleeping in would be awesome.  Sure it’s welcomed, but when you wake up at 7:21am on a Saturday and your house is quiet the “he must be dead” fear comes back in FULL FORCE.  I haven’t gotten up so fast in a long time.

I’m slowly getting used to his desire to want to sleep in, but the panic is still there.  Motherhood keeps us on our toes all too often!


4 thoughts on “Shear Panic

  1. We are strange creatures us moms. We want them to sleep then we worry that they sleep too long. My son slept till 8:30 once and I thought my husband might have a panic attack, lol.

  2. I’ve changed from wondering if she was breathing to hoping no one has come into our house and stollen her! Don’t ask….I have an irrational fear that people are going to come into my house at night.

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